If only our eyes saw
souls instead of bodies ...
how very different our
ideals of beauty would be.
I pondered this quote when I initially saved it. It touched my heart but I wasn't sure to what depth or exactly why. Usually when something stirs me so deeply it is for a reason. I realized today what that reason was. We live in a culture of judgment! Oh how we judge, when we shouldn't. People are beautiful. Behind the outside shell of a body lies souls that are brave, courageous, and strong.
I spent today in Chattanooga TN, and I want to share two very different interactions with you that I experienced. I walked into a restaurant with my 3 year old son around noon, hungry and tired from a train ride this morning. He has a bright red cast on his left arm as many of you know if you follow that we have been in Alabama for two weeks of therapy. One week to go - yahoo! A family of three were sitting at a table as we entered and I listened as they had a conversation about his cast for at least 5 minutes. Yes, I could hear them, and yes as a mother I wanted to walk right over and ask them if they'd like to see it, ask me about it or talk to my sweet little boy -- instead I stood my ground while they took turns commenting and turning to stare. My parenting was defined by them for the cast he wore, and his sweet personality was missed as they only saw the material on his arm. Let me tell you what they didn't see. A mother who has been working hard with a toddler for two weeks in therapy, forcing him to do things that are SO hard, asking him to work harder when he has nothing left and falls asleep in the car, and then asking him to do more when he wakes up from his nap. I see a little boy out of his element, away from his preschool and his daddy. I see a little boy who every morning asks to play more games with Jackie - a girl he just met but makes work fun for him. I see the progress he has made and the success and pride I feel over being his mother. That's just him! What they don't see while I held him today waiting for a table are the tears that fall over the fact that I have received multiple comments over that stupid red cast, and the heartache I feel that he even had to come to Alabama for therapy in the first place. If I had a dollar for everyone who thinks he broke it or told him to be more careful when we are out and about I would be rich. They don't see the failure I have been when my patience wears thin after long days these past two weeks and the moments where I have to take a deep breath. They don't see the bravery it takes to smile at them and pretend they didn't comment in the first place, or the strength to practice grace. They don't see my soul. They see a mom with a little boy they assumed has a broken arm.
At the same restaurant, my son and I were now seated and he was tired, not loving being confined while we waited for our food and was yes - whining. A man walked over to my table and said "can I show him something?" ... of course at first it seemed odd as he had his water in his hand but I said yes, because the distraction wouldn't hurt anything, and I really didn't mind. He had taken the paper from his straw and crinkled it up ... remember this as a kid? As he set it in front of my son memories of straw snakes fled back, and as he dropped water on the paper the snake grew! He then set four straws on my table and said ... I have four kids, hes doing great. I almost didn't know what to say. I thanked him, and Lincoln and I made four more snakes grow. He didn't comment once about the red cast. He saw a mom who was trying, and a son who was unhappy and he seized the moment to show empathy and kindness. I believe he saw beauty.
I want to tell you I can share a million stories of beauty with you. In three years of being in and out of children's hospitals, therapy and working at Mayo Clinic, I have seen broken hearts, children with physical impairments, unfair diagnosis young and old, I've cried with patients and moms -- and as I write this tonight with tears falling I urge you to open up your eyes the next time you see someone struggling, a child in a wheelchair, or with bracing, an elderly person with a walker, a mother losing her patience -- the list could go on and on and on. Whatever the situation, don't be so quick to judge. I want to leave you pondering this post with a story of a little girl who can't walk that we met these last few weeks -- her grandpa brings her to therapy so she can strengthen areas and her smile lights up a room. Everyone knows her, talks to her, and comments about her smile. Yes, she sits in a chair, doesn't say anything but boy can she smile. She is absolutely beautiful, the apple of her grandpas eye and a true testament to every reason I despise judgment.