Fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Do you know anyone who constantly lives in a state of fear? Do you find yourself living in fear? The unknown is very unsettling, however isn't that what life is about? Living one day at a time, in the present?
Fear can engulf us in many ways. Fear of tragedy, death, cancer; never meeting the right person, not being able to have kids, fear that our kids won't be ok; poverty or never finding our dream job ... the list could go on and on. I am not even touching the depths of what people fear as human beings.
I found myself for almost two full years living in a state of fear. An all consuming emotion that was tied directly to my precious son. Fear that every doctors appointment would hold bad news, or a new diagnosis or possibly something I didn't feel I could handle. Fear that he wouldn't be able to walk, or talk as they told us. Fear that our medical insurance wouldn't cover therapy, or the appropriate treatments would cost us thousands of dollars out of pocket (again insert a long list of fears here - I am sure there are more). However, as the years have gone by, I have seen the benefits of letting my fears go. As cliche' as it sounds, letting go is truly a feeling of freedom, my heart no longer feels suffocated and fragile as if it may break at any moment. Today my son is walking and talking, among many other crazy toddler activities that believe me do not involve any FEAR from my dare devil child. So I can objectively look back and see that fear was more harmful to myself than it was good. I lived in the what ifs, whys and could be's ... stages of grief were necessary of course, but once I had moved past that I realized my worry did not change the outcome. My son has exceeded most professional expectations, and he constantly impresses me with his creativity and strength!
"Transforming fear based patterns is the road to freedom. But recognizing those patterns in our self is not easy." ~ Ingrid Bacci
Yesterday we had an EEG at Phoenix Children's Hospital. Seizures are yet another thing they told us about from the beginning as being a possibility. Again for the first years, I worried that they may happen, but they didn't. However, there has been recent concern that lead us to have some testing done. As I watched my little boy lay on a bed hooked to at least twenty wires, I felt at peace, because the reality of the situation is -- it doesn't matter if I am afraid. Fear of the results being positive for seizures doesn't change anything, other than creating anxiety for me, making me a worse mother to a little boy who doesn't understand what is going on. While I pray the results come back negative, I am grateful I have learned to work through my fears. I have a feeling my little boy will always have " something" for doctors to be concerned about. As my family and friends, and even my husband have asked my opinions the last day, and if I am ok, I really don't have all the answers. However, I actually am fine. As I have said in previous posts, knowledge is power, and if the results are negative I can move forward knowing it was nothing and if the results show something, I can handle it from an educated view. Fear has no control.
What can you let go of in your life? Is fear stripping you of happiness, causing you anxiety, and keeping you on the road to being miserable? Fear can present in many forms of emotion, here are a few ideas to think about.
1. Quit looking for stuff to fix.
Often times people don't have constant problems, they create them without even
knowing it.
2. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Life is not perfect. Regardless of your fears, unknowns will take place. Some will be tragic,
while others will be blessings. Live in the present day, one day at a time.
3. Surround yourself with positive people
Negativity can suck the life out of any smile, attitudes are often contagious. Look for
people in your life that lift your spirits and add a positive influence to what you are
going through.
4. Learn to walk with fear.
It is an unrealistic expectation to think we can magically erase fear with a snap of our fingers.
But we can find ways to soften it so it does not control us. Allow it to be present but not to
interfere.
5. Take responsibility.
Your life is just that -- your life! Only you can be responsible for your happiness or
unhappiness. If you need help, ask for it. If you want to see results, you have to be willing to
make the effort. Instead of counting the negatives that weigh you down, try to count your
blessings.
