You never know what being a mother means or entails until you are one. This statement seems so obvious right? Yet how many times can you look back and admit you've done something as a mother you swore before having children you would never do? Or judged another mother for doing?
Every Wednesday morning my son has therapy at 8 am. It is a rare occasion that he is awake before 7 am but we have to leave by 7:30 to make the appointment. Most Wednesdays this means I am waking him up and he is usually cranky. It was a few weeks ago that I had tears in the therapy office because something new we were trying was utterly failing and with 4 appointments a week, I wasn't just over the attempt, I was over therapy in general. So on this day, I propped my son on the counter with a bribe that mommy had bought him a doughnut. Instead of being cranky, he rubbed his eyes a little and started in on the sugar rush! I loved the faces he made as he enjoyed each bite.
The true reminder in these photos is the sign behind him though. He is only 2 years old, so he doesn't understand that being cranky when he wakes up is a choice, he only knows his routine of waking on his own has been disrupted. And to further my feelings of defeat he not only got to eat a doughnut for breakfast, he was allowed to eat it on the counter! (Not a typical routine for us, however, you pick your battles some days).
There are many moments as a mother I can look back on and wonder if I am failing. I have let him play my phone in the grocery store, bought him a treat when he didn't deserve it, let him not hold my hand because he wants to be independent, and given in to his iPad demand when I need a moment to take care of my adult tasks ... but on most days I know I am succeeding! Sure these moments are not my proudest as a mother, but when daycare tells me my son is so sweet and gives hugs, or therapy tells me he works hard ... my nanny tells me he shares his trains at the park with other kids and he has a huge heart for animals, I know I am raising a good little boy. Small daily failures don't define who you are as a mother. Society has put so much pressure on what I call the "perfect pinterest" mom. Live each day choosing joy, fighting your personal battles, and doing the best you know how by the little ones you love! Teach them right from wrong, and what love is ... tiny moments of failure will not be what they remember.
