Lincoln and I were attending therapy the other morning, as we do weekly, and a little boy entered the waiting room in a wheel chair. My son was mesmerized! He obviously does not know what it really is, or understand the physical limitations that go along with having one, but I watched him closely as he stared ... and stared ... and stared. I actually felt uncomfortable in that moment while he stood there eyes frozen on the sweet boy, so I encouraged Lincoln to say hi! He waved and smiled and my discomfort subsided quickly as the boys shared a moment. But the interaction brought out emotions in me! I shouldn't feel uncomfortable, and more importantly neither should the mother or the beautiful little boy! I am sure my child is not the first to have stared at them, and he won't be the last but it prompted a fire in me ... as a whole, human beings have lost compassion or understanding, if someone is "different" we look at them strangely, stare, possibly turn away, or as awful as it feels to write .. laugh or make fun of them and not just children but adults can act this way as well!
As mom's we only want the best for our children! I am no different. Someday when Lincoln is older and understands more, I want to teach him how to love others the best possible way! The reaction to things or people that are different from us, starts with an adult. Children can learn to be compassionate just as they can learn to be cruel. I have learned a lot in the last two years about how important that really is, sure I always knew how to be kind, but when the shoe is on the other foot, it becomes more personal.
These are just a few things to think of when you see a child who may have special needs or a disability:
Treat him/her with respect -- Children with special needs are human beings too. Wonderful, lovable and worthy of respect just like anyone else, sometimes more! If you see someone mocking or making fun of, explain why it isn't kind, or address the problem. Our world needs more compassion.
Do not give him/her special treatment -- Many moms I know expect their children with special needs to still share, take turns, and do many other "normal" things. Do not ask your child to bend over backwards for mine. Educate them if they ask questions of why it is easier for them, etc.
Do not limit him/her -- My son is so determined! I do not believe in limiting him! As he grows, some things will be harder than others, but if he wants to try I am going to be the first to help him do his best. I love taking him to play dates and parks because to the average eye he can do things as well as his peers. Do not treat your child as a breakable piece of glass, they are so much stronger than you give them credit for! Some days may bring tears or discouragement, but letting them try might bring them joy and accomplishment!
Do not pity him/her (or me) -- I am not raising my son to think he is "different". In fact I hate the word and other more derogatory terms! While the label may be true or not, children are who they are! They are what you help them believe they are. Amazing, funny, smart, insert your own description here ... if we constantly talk about them and what they can't do they will face the world with more fear. Confidence is a liberating quality and children who are built up often succeed!
"Differences are like freckles, we all have them." If the world was entirely the same, how boring would that be? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Next time someone stares at you, smile at them ... or next time you catch yourself staring at a "different" situation, stop yourself and acknowledge them, it is so much better to the recipient than being ignored or turned from awkwardly. A smile is a universal language every can speak, so I encourage you to smile more!